WEIRD SHIT I DO

It feels like someone has taken a bat to my forehead.  Every sound hits that perfect pitch and just destroys my nerves.  It’s not like my general irritation, it’s a horrible fucking headache and I can’t crawl away from it.  I want to curl up and read but it causes my brain to pound.  With every throb comes comes a random sentence.

If it was longer than two minutes, I probably wouldn’t listen to it.

Crawl under there and get that quarter.

Those pinstripes look like a tall glass of orange juice.

The sky looks like someone dumped an ashtray over it.

I really don’t know what state of mind I’m in.  Sometimes, while I’m doing mindless things like washing my hands, doing my makeup or styling my hair, I randomly start spitting out sentences.  Not sentences like the ones above, but it’s as if I’ve just inhabited a person who is in the middle of an argument.  I mean, I’ll literally be standing there, doing whatever and suddenly I’m saying things like “I don’t give a damn what you think, I like this sweater and I’m fucking wearing it”.  It doesn’t come out like crazy-person-talk either and it’s not an actual conversation, it’s just a fragment of some unknown quarrel.  Even better are the times when I suddenly slip in to accents.  It generally happens when I’m getting dressed, I suddenly find I’m giving myself a pep-talk in a British accent.  Sometimes it’s southern, sometimes Spanish and everyone once in a while, a bit of French might slither it’s way from between my lips.  But usually, it’s British.

However, now with my head throbbing and these sentences screaming at me, I’m not really sure whether I hate it or like it.
I’m not crazy and these weird eccentricities have never surfaced in public (thank god) and  while I’ve made it seem they’re involuntary, I really think it’s just because I’m a reclusive and have that Wilson/Tom Hanks thing going.   Yes, that’s certainly it.

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