Why I’m A Bitchface

I am tired, grumpy, irritable and unwilling to give in to even a faint smile.  If you’re in a bad mood and you live with other people, feelings are going to get hurt.  I actually had a really nice morning.  I went garage sale hunting with my boyfriend’s mom and sister and also to a Holiday Shoppe where the local craft ladies sold their creative outlets of knitted Christmas ornaments, crocheted kitchen things I’ve never heard of and plenty of repressed emotions under layers and layers of cat fabric.

I even purchased a horribly awesome Polka album.
However, when I came home… there he was; Ricky.
You all know this person: the one that comes over unannounced, the one that lingers with puppy-dog eyes while you’re trying to eat instead of leaving, the one that talks too much, the one that laughs too loud, the one that lets their phone ring to hear the song set as their ringtone, the one that offers commentary during a movie or a video game… you get it.
The problem is, the person you know probably inhabits one, maybe two of these annoying idiosyncrasies.  Not for me, the person I know embodies EVERY SINGLE ONE of these qualities.
Weekends are spent with the shades drawn and every door bolted.
He was asked (not long ago) to please text before he came over and make sure we were home.  This did no good; if he doesn’t get an answer, he just comes over anyway.He’s not a bad guy and he’s genuinely friendly but he has absolutely NO MANNERS when it comes to being a guest.  After our last roommate moved out, he even asked if we were renting out the room.  The vote was unanimous.  Right now, it’s littered with guitars, ukuleles, a sewing kit and a camel lamp that sits quite happily on the floor.  It is the PERFECT room.
But bitching about Ricky isn’t the point to be made here.  The point is, I’m a grumpy hag that can find just about anything to be irritated about.  If someone coughs more than five or ten times in a restaurant, I’ll probably get pissy.  If someone doesn’t say “thank you” when I open a door for them, I’ll probably talk about it for a good 15 minutes. If someone even glances at me in public, I feel it’s my duty to stare them down with a sarcastic, ‘can I fucking help you’ look.
We all have our hang-ups and Ricky is no different.  But when someone’s bad habits are the things that scrape your nerves, it’s a bad fucking day if you’re exposed too long.  And right now, I’m irritated at myself because he left at least 4 hours ago and I’m still grumpy.
Mmm, nice.
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